“The most important story you will ever tell about yourself is the story you tell yourself.” ~Jim Loehr, The Power of Story, Free Press, 2007

Stories that don’t work happen to everyone. Each of us operates on a variety of organizing principles, or “stories,” that revolve around our brains. They often push us to work harder and faster, even though we’re not getting any closer to achieving the life we ​​want.

Even the most successful people, with brilliant career histories, have old stories on their minds. One of the most widely shared (and seriously flawed) beliefs is that simply spending time on something will yield positive results. If you believe this premise, then you are probably in a hurry most of the time.

Focused, high-quality energy is necessary to achieve results. As performance psychologist Jim Loehr writes in The Power of Story (Free Press, 2007), “…the key to nearly all of our problems, more fundamental even than mismanagement of energy, is flawed storytelling, because it’s the narration the one that marks the way”. we get together and expend our energy.

In fact, energy is the most precious resource we possess, the heart of the solutions to our most pressing problems and needs. However, the stories we tell ourselves cause us to waste valuable energy, leaving us too tired or stressed to perform at optimal levels.

Find a flawed story

To generate the energy you need to fulfill your greatest desires and goals, you must identify your flawed stories, the old wrong bullshit you tell yourself over and over again. We rarely examine them or question their usefulness. We just go about our workdays and our lives, telling ourselves these familiar tales to convince ourselves that we’re okay.

Answer the following questions to determine if your stories are working in your favor:

1. Do you feel energized?
2. Are you managing your time well?
3. Do you do things?
4. Are you living the life you dreamed of?

If you’ve answered “no” to any of these questions, then your stories aren’t working for you. Now is the time to develop a story that draws him in and enhances his energy.

Stories create our reality

Human beings are wired to create and tell stories. Our brain continually seeks explanations for the events that surround us. Whatever we encounter, whether random or planned, forces our minds to impose a timeline and apply a logic of cause and effect.

We use stories to find meaning in the midst of chaos. This is how we organize and contextualize our experiences. Facts don’t make sense until we create a story around them. As business consultant Annette Simmons writes in The story factor (Basic Books, 2006), “People don’t need new facts, they need a new story.” In most cases, these stories matter more than what actually happens.

We constantly tell our stories, even when we are not aware of it. They reflect problems with our work, family, general happiness, and personal strengths and weaknesses. Every story has a theme, a hero, a villain, and a conflict, and the way we communicate it involves both verbal and nonverbal communication.

Because we create our stories ourselves, we can also make them as inspiring as possible, suggest leadership coach Rosamund Stone Zander and Boston Philharmonic Orchestra conductor Benjamin Zander, authors of The art of possibility (Harvard Business School Press, 2000).

Consequences of negative stories

Some of our inside stories are so tragically inaccurate that they cause stress and burnout:

• “It’s a competitive and cutthroat world.”
• “If I don’t go for No. 1, nobody else will.”
• “I would love to spend time with my family, but I have to work.”
• “If I’m not the first person at work and the last to leave, I’ll be seen as lazy.”
• “I would exercise and eat better, if I weren’t so busy.”

5 types of stories

We tell stories related to five basic themes:

1. To work
2. Family
3. Health
4. Happiness
5. Friendships

While there are countless variations, these themes form the basis of everyday complaints or boasts, two facets of the storytelling.

Do a reality check to see if your stories justify your actions or inspire new behaviors. How do you feel about your results? Are you happy with the way you carry yourself? Answering these questions allows you to discover how your inner stories influence your behavior.

3 steps to rewrite your story

1. Make a list of your current stories. Identify the areas where your stories are clearly hurting you.
2. Articulate, as clearly as possible, a story that is not working for you. Are you, for example, rationalizing behavior or using a colleague as a scapegoat? Are you bitter or boastful? Your story should be as authentic as possible.
3. To rewrite your story, first identify your faulty elements. Ask yourself these three questions:

has. Does the story reflect the truth?
b. Will it get me where I want to go in life (while allowing me to stay true to my core values)?
vs. Stimulates me to take action?

Loehr says that a constructive story contains three key components:

• Goal
• TRUE
• action full of hope

If your story lacks one or more of these elements, it is still flawed and unfeasible. Only a purposeful, truthful, hope-filled story will inspire you to unleash your intrinsic energy and achieve what you want out of life.