the power to say goodbye

a natural ending
Saying goodbye is not easy for most of us. It is filled with fear, anxiety, and worry about loss, about the future, about whatever our touchstone of discomfort is. But it does not have to be like that. There is a way to say goodbye and accept change gracefully, even welcome it.

Being able to say goodbye with ease and grace – to people – to projects – to whatever is ending gives a sense of peace, but also a sense of control – of our lives and our destiny. In this final tactic, where we say our goodbyes, I will touch on endings and beginnings and finding peace in the inevitable.

I invite you to take a deep breath, focus and take this journey of farewell and the power that lies within.
Why is it so hard for us to say goodbye?
To finish things? Have you ever considered that some things just have a time to finish? That all things have a life time and there is nothing good or bad in that? Some relationships just end at some point. That doesn’t have to have a judgment attached to it, it just can be. Some companies have a shelf life, so be it. Some projects have a limit. Some ideas that we cling to would serve us better if we let them go. We all certainly have a shelf life. Why then, not everything else? It’s just the natural way of things.

Some endings we can control and others seem to happen to us. As with so many things, how we accept those endings is what makes the difference in how we perceive them. How they affect us. We can choose how we react and how we think. And we can also feel whatever comes up by not letting emotions rule our behavior or our decisions.

When you sit still and really take the time to be still and look and listen within yourself, you know the answers. You know this because the answers come pouring out, seemingly out of nowhere. They come from your deep reserves, your inner knowing. You may not always like the answers, but the answers are likely to be correct. Just as you can’t always control the outcome of a situation, you can control how you respond to it.

Learning to discern what is in your power to change and what is not can give you great peace of mind. This includes knowing when something needs to end and knowing how to do it with grace, dignity, and ease.
What you achieve becomes part of you
Things change shape. The form does not always look as expected.

We often try to control and become very attached to the results. How they should look and how they should be. If we become so attached to an idea of ​​what it should be like, we often miss out on beauty and the opportunity to see life differently. You may have an answer to your deepest desires, but if it’s not in the package you envisioned, it may pass you by.

Whatever you do, whatever it is, love it and embrace it right now for who it is. Tomorrow it can change, be different or disappear. It is part of the life process. We know this instinctively, but we don’t always pay full attention. There is no forever – in any of that. The better we are at accepting that, the better we are at fully embracing and living in the present, which is, after all, ALL we really have.
endings
Think of an experience or a group you were a part of, even a relationship that changed or disappeared. At the time when you were at the top, in the middle of it, so to speak, you probably had no idea it would end or change. When she did, it may have been her choice or someone else’s. Either way, it ceased to exist in the form it once did. That’s what happens to all of us. It is the process of life. Looking back on that situation. Do you think you would have done anything different if you had known it would end? Would you have valued or appreciated it more? Maybe.

Endings and changes can be sad. Whatever you experience within that relationship or situation becomes a permanent part of you, of your life experience. It makes you who you are. It is still alive, even in a different form. When you can easily let go and move on, you allow the natural rhythms of your life to unfold. When you resist that change, you not only live in the past, which really doesn’t exist anymore, but you can’t fully participate in the present and be part of the rich fabric of new experiences.
Let it flow and flow
It is a wonderful feeling when you can accept the natural beginnings and endings and flow of experience and let it be what it is, without expectations. I know, you are probably thinking: I AM NOT THE BUDDHA! I know, none of us are, but we can choose a small part of this experience in each situation and then ‘put them together’ to live an increasingly full, peaceful and prosperous life that is defined by ease, grace and knowing. .

Sometimes it is as simple as beginning to clearly define what is in your power and what is not and more easily letting go of what is not. You gain nothing by clinging to something you can’t control and you know it won’t bring you happiness or peace. When you let your truth speak, you can live in peace, a wild peace that ignites your heart and allows your truth to sing, touch you and guide you. You can have that. It’s yours for the asking, and asking for it is about paying attention, being mindful, and making decisions that serve you.

Letting go in this way does NOT mean letting go of your desires, your goals or your plans. It simply means that you change the experience, you look at it differently; maybe it will change your path and what defines the experience for you, both in your heart and in your mind.
time to close the book
We could all learn something from the great Buddhist saying “you must close the book.” Like the book, things have a natural ending.

What would happen if we faced the situations of life with that same knowledge, that same acceptance? So we also accept, the pain or feelings of sadness or loss, are part of the contract we made. If it seems too simplistic, this analogy with the book, what would happen if you allowed it? Is it so far fetched to see how you can let things flow smoothly, without putting up any resistance? How would that feel to you? What feelings come to mind? What words? Anything you associate with freedom? Calmly?

Imagine gently closing the book when you have completed the last chapter. We often feel a sense of loss at the end of a great book: the characters have become part of our lives, we don’t want to leave them. However, we know that we must do it and that it is the agreement that we made when entering. For hundreds of pages and so many hours, we became part of the world between the covers. So, leave it we must.
Say goodbye with an open heart
If you can make a clean, clear, distinct ending, create a closure that you feel good about and can embrace. You say goodbye, but you do it with an open heart and a clear mind. In short, you agree. You accept, you accept. Can you say it or feel it enough? The serenity prayer comes to mind here:

God give me serenity
accept the things that I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can.

No wonder it has been a comfort to so many people. It really boils down to the gist of the message and gives us clear and simple directions for the journey. Sometimes we have the most control to create the life circumstances we most desire when we get out of the way. Give up and control the results by saying goodbye gracefully and loving the emotions that arise.

We are programmed for beginnings and endings, and the more we learn to love and accept them, the less conflict we experience. With that kind reader, I will say goodbye for the time being, knowing that our journey has only just begun. I wish you peace, happiness, joy and really juicy and exciting adventures on your way.