Most people seem to think that the alternative to success is failure. They also seem to think that the alternative to failure is success. It is not; in both cases, it is mediocrity. For some reason, most people in the West prefer the option of not being poor, but not rich either. They want to be in the middle. It is no accident that a recent survey found that the vast majority of men and women in Britain liked to describe themselves as ‘middle class’. These days there are few people in the background. There are also few people at the top, the real top. Most of the population has decided to drift in the middle, perhaps thinking that there is safety in being in the crowd.

This is a valuable lesson. It means that if you are one of those people who buys ‘Personal Improvement’, investing in books, tapes and courses, you must realize that if you start to climb, it is very unlikely that you will reach the top. On the contrary, you will reach the middle class, or even the upper middle class, and you will find that you are happy to be there. You will stop and reveal in the company you find. That will be enough, you will tell yourself, and rest, content. After all, most people have already done it.

How do you get there? The formula for that is the same as always. The fastest way is the internal dialogue. Promise yourself that you will start with a 21-day program. You will start a new habit and stick with it for at least 21 days. Then set aside five minutes at the beginning and end of each day, perhaps when you’re in bed. Relax completely and start talking to yourself; say exactly what you want. There are two things to remember: one, be precise, but not repetitive. There is no benefit to saying ‘I want to be rich’ over and over again. Talk about how much income you need; how much I save; what size house; what vacation are you going on; what kind of car Also, follow the other 3 ‘P’s, (besides Accurate): be Positive; Staff; and present tense. Say, ‘I am rich’, as if it is already happening. Say, ‘I’m rich’, not ‘My family is fine’, or something vague. Make it all about you. Finally, say only the things you want, not the things you don’t want. Say, ‘I’m healthy, no addictions’, not ‘I’ve stopped smoking and drinking’. The four ‘P’s are all you need, on the plus side.

Unfortunately, most people forget that there is also a downside. People are more complicated than we like to pretend. You say: ‘I want to be rich’, but inside you there may be a little voice that says: ‘That’s dangerous, someone can steal all my money’. Or, ‘You don’t deserve that, faker.’ It may not be as accurate as that, and sometimes all we feel is a little trepidation. Confront him: bring him to the surface. Are you uncomfortable about something you just said? What was it? Was it, ‘I want to be rich’? Is that a contradiction of something you heard or something you were told? Maybe your parents told you that you would always be a failure, or someone you respect once said something like, ‘You can’t be rich and happy.’ You need to address this negative thought. Don’t try to just bury it, or hope it will go away. Bring it to your consciousness and discuss it with yourself; hopefully, you will find that all your doubts and fears are troubling, but illogical and unfounded. Question those assumptions and sayings of the past and you will disarm them. Over time, perhaps within 21 days, they will lose their power, as the positive things you are feeding your subconscious become stronger.

That is something that is easy to forget. Many people do the right thing and start the 21-day program because they want real change in their lives, but when they start to have doubts and feel their fears rising, they immediately stop or realize they don’t know how to do it. deal with the negative feelings, and then give up. The best way to deal with bad childhood experiences and negative parental views is the same way you deal with any emotional trauma, by following the Callaghan method, or “tapping” as it is sometimes known. Gently tap your fingers on an acupressure point like your cheekbone or under your armpit, and bad feelings evaporate. Find a Roger Callaghan book and read more.

But here’s a new thought: be honest with yourself. Maybe ‘I want to be rich’ was something instilled in you by your pushy parents. Maybe you don’t believe those ‘positive’ things either. After all, if most of your countrymen just want to be ‘average’, why would they argue? I feel like that explains a lot of things: I’m used to meeting people who say, ‘I want to be rich,’ but then when you challenge them to meet (or do any work), they say, ‘Wednesday? I’m meeting the boys on Wednesday night’, and other excuses. Maybe, I’ve been thinking, they don’t want those heights enough. No, maybe they don’t, just like the other millions, who just want to be middle class and comfortable. It’s like setting the thermostat in your house in the middle, isn’t it? You don’t want to be too low, either too cold or too lean, but you also don’t want to set it too high, either too hot or rich. But of course there is nothing wrong with that either. Self-talk will give you all the things you want and all the things you can handle. If it really isn’t much, that’s okay: be honest with yourself and admit that your ambitions are pretty low. Self-improvement should be about getting what we want, and if it’s a small amount, great. The rest of the world will thank us for our frugality.