“Everything I do annoys my boyfriend.” That statement wouldn’t normally make you bat an eye, except for the fact that you’re the one saying it, right? It’s awful, isn’t it? You are crazy about a man who seems determined to criticize everything about you. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells at every turn and it certainly never feels like you’re doing anything remotely right. Is it really a satisfying relationship if that’s what you have to deal with on a daily basis? Don’t you wish you could understand why your boyfriend is always upset with you? He can understand and in doing so can provide him with the knowledge he needs to deal effectively with this difficult situation. Before his self-esteem takes another step backwards, it’s time for him to learn why his boyfriend seems to be his biggest critic.

There are several main reasons why men suddenly go from being attentive and caring partners to being overly critical.

He just doesn’t care about you as much as he used to. Men often begin to scold the woman they are involved with if some of the affection has worn off. These men no longer feel the need to be compassionate and caring because they just don’t care if you’re going to take them seriously or not. If you remember when you and your guy first hooked up, chances are he was complimentary about just about everything about you. That’s because he truly loved you for who you were and accepted everything about you, even those little things that you may consider flaws. Do you remember when he told you that he loved that you snorted when you laughed or found clothes lying everywhere in your lovely apartment? Now those little problems are becoming food for his overly critical nature because he doesn’t love you like he used to.

His annoyance with you is a tool for his revenge. Most of us are good at holding grudges. It is a natural talent that we all have if we feel that we have been wronged. If you and your boyfriend had a lengthy, no-holds-barred argument and he feels like you have the upper hand, he may be resentful of you. That resentment can manifest itself in many ways, including coming off as an annoyance. If all of this negative behavior on your part started after the two of you faced a major conflict, that may be the culprit.

Your own self-esteem needs a boost. Lack of self-esteem can cause people to do crazy things. You can get people to act up by dressing provocatively in an effort to gain attention. Some people get loud and obnoxious just because they crave to be the center of attention. Reprimanding others is another coping tool that some people use to boost their own self-esteem. They may not even realize they’re doing it, which could be the case with your boyfriend. This sometimes happens if a couple doesn’t match up a bit. For example, if the woman is absolutely beautiful and her boyfriend is not good looking, he may degrade her to feel more attractive. It also happens if the woman is more intellectually gifted or has a more vibrant personality. If she lacks ego and your presence makes him feel even smaller, she may subconsciously feel the need to cut you down just to feel like she accepts who he is.

He is really upset about some of the things you choose to do. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone in this big, wide world who would define the word “perfect.” Perfection is an illusion, and fortunately, none of us are so myopic that we cannot see and embrace our flaws. If you’re doing things that you know are upsetting your boyfriend, he may be justified in being angry with you. Take, for example, if you tend to turn your music up loud when working out while he’s just trying to work. Or maybe you’re notoriously bad at remembering to put things where they belong. If your boyfriend has pet peeves and you don’t respect them, he may feel justified in getting mad at you. Consider if you’re putting pressure on him in a negative way before he picks on you.

Regardless of why your boyfriend is frequently upset with you, don’t let it rule the relationship. Also, don’t let his insults or opinions negatively influence you. Our partner’s opinion of us can define who we are and, unfortunately, if their opinion is not flattering, it can damage self-esteem in a very detrimental way.